Left-over pregnancy hormones seem to be causing some trouble for my baby's skin, but they are also making me feel irritated and overwhelmed!
Parenting: Stressed by change!
Monday 22nd October
I said yesterday that the breast milk seems to be helping my baby a lot so the spots on his face are disappearing! This got me wondering what the spots were in the first place - the midwife said that they are totally normal and would soon disappear, but I woke up wondering what may have caused them in the first place. Should we change our washing powder? Is it the dog hair (which is everywhere - we have two dogs!)? Should we spend more time outdoors or was I eating the wrong things? I decided to put my mind at rest and research the causes of baby face acne.
I was quickly reassured that it was a common condition indeed and most likely caused due to the elevated levels of hormones that Ron "inherited" from me before the birth. Google suggested that it usually takes about 6 weeks for these left-over hormones to work their way out of the baby's system, and that the spots that the hormones caused would disappear at that time too. I was so happy that it wasn't anything we did (or didn't do) that affected my baby and was going to continue with the good face washing routine and breast milk treatment.
James spent all day and all night today preparing and painting the bathroom. It is a sort of job that you must finish once you start it, so he was largely preoccupied with that. This meant that Ronnie spent the whole day with me! I would change his nappies, feed him and he would cuddle and sleep with me, then wake up and we would repeat the cycle again. Over and over and over and over again! Ron really wanted to be close to his mummy today, and with James busy painting the bathroom, that is exactly what we did! It was a tiring day. . .
Parenting: Stressed by change!
There is a small part of me that knows for a fact that I will miss this clingy baby stage once it is over and my heart tells me to enjoy these days and make the most of ever minute. However, there is a huge part of me that is stressed by all this change! Suddenly, I have a new "fashion accessory" that doesn't leave my side even for a second. It is all about Ronnie now, his needs naturally come first and it is something I have to adjust to. It is difficult at times, especially today as he has been especially needy. He was crying a lot, despite me going thorough the baby checklist (nappies, feeding, winding, rocking, etc) over and over and the more he cried, the more stressed I became, feeling like I was failing at my new job of being a mum.
Eventually, I started to cry too. It was late, I was exhausted and overwhelmed! We were now both crying - my baby was upset and I was upset about my baby being upset. Ron was then, in turn, even more upset because I was no longer able to offer him the comfort he needed. It was a vicious cycle of stress and tears.
I kept saying that "I got this", trying to prove to myself and to my husband that I can look after my baby, but the crying got worse and worse, so eventually James stepped in and instantly calmed the baby. He has a "magical touch" with Ron - I have no clue how he does it, but ever since the first day he was always the one who could calm the baby by simply picking him up and hugging him over his shoulder. Ron fell asleep on top of James and somehow that made me feel a lot worse - "why was I not able to calm the baby down the way James just did it?" I was wondering, all the while feeling like I failed the day. James explained that he was probably just over tired. . . He said that I was "prodding and poking" the baby ticking things off the checklist over and over again and all he needed was a firm hold and a bit of quiet time to fall asleep.
I felt like such a bad mum that evening, but James said that it wasn't the case and that I simply had an overwhelming day. He also said that my hormones might be crashing down on me today, making me emotionally over sensitive and more irritable than usual. There it is again, the word of the day - "hormones"! Pesky annoying left-over pregnancy hormones!